Christmas Meal at the Prince of Wales

Evening all,

It's that time of the year again - time to organize the Cheetahs' Christmas Meal!

It'll be the usual venue, given the success of the last two meals, and the date is Wednesday 14th December.

We don't need numbers just yet. I'll post the menu details shortly.

Get it in your diary!

PP

The Prince of Wales – Menu 2 (Three Courses, £20.95 a head).

Starters -
• Homemade Broccoli & Stilton Soup
• Prawn, Crayfish & Smoked Salmon Cocktail
• Homemade Chicken Liver Pate
• Deep-fried Brie with Plum & Apple Chutney

Main Courses -
• Traditional Roast Turkey with Cranberry & Apricot stuffing
• Oven Baked Cod with Lemon, Chilli & Coriander
• Slow-roasted Lamb Shank
• Stuffed Chicken Breast with Feta Cheese & Chorizo
• Mushroom, Brie & Cranberry Wellington

Desserts -
• Traditional Christmas Pudding with Brandy Custard
• Homemade Lemon & Ginger Cheesecake
• Warm Sticky Toffee Pudding with Dates & Walnuts
• Cheese Selection

Mince Pie & Coffee – add £2.00

The time has come to let the pub have confirmed numbers and menu choices. If you coming, please let Paul Pearce or Paul Rodger know what food you want.

Thanks.

I have it on good authority that Santa (well, Eric) will be bringing the cog badges along to the meal!

I think the Christmas Meal has turned out, once again, to be a fantastic finale to the Cheetahs’ scootering year. The usual crew was joined by Darrell Milnes, Derek Howes and Bruce Collett along with three lads from the Veteran Vespa Club. The food was of the usual high standard, thanks to Phil, Simon and the rest of the Prince of Wales team.
After the meal we had a short speech from Eric, during which he produced a little piece of Cheetahs’ history – a silver cup which (if my ears were working correctly) came from Clinton’s, a scooter dealer from back in the day. Eric has had the cup since the fifties. He brought it along to present to the person who had made the biggest contribution to the club this year… Bryan Connor. One short acceptance speech later and it was over to the three Pauls to deal with the small matter of the club fines. I’ll reprint the details below to ensure the guilty are recognised – spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and all! Eric also distributed Cheetah Chatter Number 72 and a quick flick through showed that it contains a great selection of stories and pictures.
As we were hoping, the cog badges were indeed delivered by Eric – and they have turned out really well (see the new Facebook profile picture). Always one for a challenge, Bryan is talking about getting a price for reproducing an old Cheam Lambretta Club badge, as seen in the afore-mentioned Cheetah Chatter. I’ll let you know how that works out in my 2014 report…

Club Fines 2011:


As prosecution counsel regarding the case of R Vs Cheam Cheetahs & others I have been handed the following list of misdemeanours and felonies subject to breaches of the Libel act 1921 The Official secrets Act 1839 The public order act 1986 The public decency act 1961 & Military Law

The fine system will have an upper level of £2 in the pot or an insurance policy of £3 for any serial offenders (Connor cough up now )No one is safe but please be respectful to other parties who may be easily offended ( Especially after two Stellas - Connor again)

1) Darren Roberts: Offences contravening the Poor Excuse act 1941. Telling us all you’ve got a bad heart and it needed restarting; therefore not attending any of the clubs Weds night IS social night events since August. Poor excuse £2.
2) Paul Pearce: Offences contravening the libel act 1921. Telling Mrs Pearce that the newly purchased Matt Black PX 150 was not a new acquisition but in fact an old scoot you’ve had for years. Check the registration plate Mrs P. Bad behaviour to the wife £2
3) Bryan Connor: Offences against the theft act 1968. Namely handling stolen goods. Turning up on scooter nights recently wearing Jimmy Somerville’s trainers from his glory days fronting Vauxhall Taverns resident band. £2. (More to come Bryan get the insurance out)
4) Derek Cooper: Offences against the public decency act 1961. Namely being the only man known this year to continuously send himself to Coventry. £2 fine though this may be revoked on appeal to a £2 award. There is an additional matter to be taken into account, offences contrary to the Construction and Use regulations; At Elvington, did wilfully exceed the maximum design speed for the Lambretta scooter by riding at a verified 81mph. We will leave that one to lie on file…
5) Peter Pooley: Offences against the official secrets act 1989. Namely being a long standing member of many scooter clubs, whilst having a secret passion for all things automatic and recently purchasing a twist and go. Poor show but we’ll let you go this time with a suspended sentence as a more serious charge has been laid – that of criminal negligence. When all that was required was to add a ‘zero’ to the design on the back of a parka coat, you did neglect to add that ‘zero’ for some 20 plus years (see exhibit GT/20). £2!
6) Paul Rogers: Offences against the persons act 1861, namely a deliberate attempt at blinding yourself, following a night out at a Specials gig in Brighton earlier this year. Your attempt to blame your self-mutilation on “That extra bottle of Red Wine” and falling asleep with your contact lenses are not accepted as mitigation in this case. £2 fine. (Cheques in brail not accepted)
7) Paul Donoghue: Offences contravening the public order act 1986. Having just paid for yet another Greek island holiday and knowing that money would be tight in this year of austerity measures, you did deliberately start on a bunch of vagabonds outside the Falcon Public house in Clapham Junction following a purple hearts gig, igniting the flames, which started the summer rioting in the area, in order to simply earn more money to pay off the holiday. A disgrace to your profession £2 fine.
Derek Howes; one count of Careless Driving contrary to the Road Traffic Act 1988 namely, failing to take account of the poor handling and braking characteristics of the Lambretta motor-scooter leading to a linked charge of Failing to Appear (at the Euro Lambretta Jamboree in Ireland). £20 (reduced to £2 on account of time served - in hospital).
9) Mick Tyrell: Cowardice in the face of the enemy contrary to military law. Having been involved in the planning of a recent campaign involving the occupation of The Ypres Salient and parts of The Somme, refused to go without his Vespa. Sentenced to death by firing squad, commuted to a £2 fine. There was also a charge of Failing to comply with the instructions printed in the Vespa owners’ manual, in that the machine is designed to be ridden in an upright position with both wheels in contact with the road surface – such a breach of those instructions amounting to an offence of Careless Driving on the way back from the Isle of Wight. This offence has been mitigated by the fact that you did actually reach and take part in the afore-mentioned rally, unlike the previous defendant.
10) Colin the Coat: Offences contravening The public decency act 1961. By attending several Wednesday social nights, in Morten Harkets (From Aha) jeans. The bench were going to give you a lighter sentence for wearing a boating blazer and white jeans at The Kast off Kinks night, but took into consideration that fact that you referred to Wednesday nights as a drinking club and not a scooter club ( You are spot on to be fair) However £2.
11) Sir Martin Lloyd: Offences contravening section 1 Criminal Damage act 1971.Namely falling in the neighbours hedge one night this summer , having come first in a Stella Drinking competition. A considerable result bearing in mind that there were no other competitors. Fine £2. Should have been higher but we managed to repair the hedge. We have also just had a far more serious charge laid, that of Fraud, namely false representation. Using a United Kingdom passport in an attempt to pass yourself off as the Imam of the local Mosque. This only came to light when local scooterists started calling at the Mosque asking for tips on fitting hydraulic clutches to their Lambrettas.
12) Darrell Milnes; Offences contrary to the Acting Your Age Regulations, 1977. Using the computer application known as Facebook to imply that you are a modern day Sid Vicious or Malcolm McClaren when, based on the sorry specimen we see before the court, you bear more of a resemblance to Syd Little and Malcolm Muggeridge. Two English Pounds – it’s a swindle!
13) Special club fine goes to The Veteran Vespa Club of Great Britain, who having organised yet another great scooter rally, This year, did commit an act of Treason contrary to common law by letting a foreign national army into the beautiful green fields of England, well Andover Rugby club (Namely the Belgian Vespa Club) and set up an encampment of gigantic breasts. Club Fine of £3.

That ends the case for the prosecution, m’lud!

Have we a date for this year? I work Wednesday nights so would need to book a holiday day/night.

Eric, it will be 19th february. Any updates will be on Facebook.

All the best,

Paul.